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Gateway Counselling and Therapy Leicester

Safe Professional Counselling and Therapy in Leicester



My Blog

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We Believe What We Tell Ourselves

Posted on October 12, 2013 at 12:56 PM
This, I think, is one of the most important points in counselling and therapy for people to grasp.

What we tell ourselves has a huge impact on the way we think, how we feel and what we do about our lives.

Even more so, the stories we tell ourselves and keep retelling ourselves have a huge impact ... those stories we also keep telling to other people to justify why we feel the way we do or why we do what we do.

Imagine ...

A person who constantly tells themselves they feel useless, convinces themselves they can't do something, reminds themselves of all the times they tried and something went wrong or others made fun of them, even tells others those stories as if in jest, but they're not really joking ...

What's going to happen to that person?


And what about the person who feels that life isn't worth living ...

They remember all the struggles, the pain and hurts which are incredibly real and actually happened, they have a list in their heads of every bad thing that happened, and probably a list of who was to blame for it. They may even have convinced themselves that they are to blame somewhere buried inside. They have a 'yes, but' for every time someone tries to convince them life is worth living, a story they recount as if to prove their point. They retell all those stories, not just to others but to themselves over and over again (and by default ignore all the reasons people give them for why life is worth living, because those reasons don't fit what they want to believe).

What is going to happen to that person.

And finally (for now) ...

What about the person who says ...


  • Things will get better (because they have to ...)
  • I am important (because I am alive and I am here ...)
  • This too will pass (because all things do if I can just persevere ...)

and so on.

What will happen to the person who remembers the times they succeeded (even though there were times when they failed), reminds their friends of the better times as well as the worst, chooses to look at the beauty in the world (even though there is plenty that is not beautiful).

It is not an easy path. It is easier (and often more popular) to look at the crap that happens to us (and let's face it, it happens to all of us and there is no shortage of examples)

But maybe it's time to let go of those stories and find better ones.

The choice, as always, is our own, yours and mine 

Regards,
Garry x


Categories: Acceptance, Advice, Change, Depression, Happiness, Healing, Life, Motivational, Sadness, Self Esteem, Self Help, Stories, Success

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