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Gateway Counselling and Therapy Leicester
Gateway Counselling and Therapy Leicester
Safe Professional Counselling and Therapy in Leicester
Safe Professional Counselling and Therapy in Leicester
My Blog
Blog
Are you being controlled and abused by your partner or someone else in authority?
Posted on June 10, 2015 at 8:15 AM |
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All abuse is dangerous, but Narcissistic Abuse is, to me, particularly insidious. The Abuser appears so loving to start with, but slowly over time cuts off support mechanisms and positive relationships, isolating the victim, and then being incredibly manipulative, making the abuse seem like the victims fault, making them feel like it is them who have failed in some way, not good enough, must try harder, be better. The reality is that it is the Narcissistic Abuser who has failed, who is not good enough. Somewhere in their childhood they did not form secure loving relationships and learned to get what they need by manipulating others, isolating others, abusing others. As I commented on Facebook, they appear to be strong but are actually weak. Do you recognise this pattern? Are you a victim of a Narcissistic Abuser? Has your partner or another person isolated you from family and friends? Do they control where you can go and who you can see? Are they critical of your family and friends when you do go and see them? Do they have temper tantrums and then blame you for making that happen? Do they apologise and promise to change, or tell you that it's only because they love you? Do you feel like you are walking on eggshells, afraid of upsetting them at the slightest thing? Do you feel your needs have definitely taken a back seat to their needs? Do you feel constantly Not Good Enough, a failure, low self esteem, no confidence? The truth is that you have a right to be you, To have a voice To be respected To be free from fear and abuse If you are the victim of Narcissistic Abuse, please please get in touch TA Therapy is an excellent way for you to discover who you really are and be able to understand why you have ended up where you are, but more importantly, how you can change and move on. And if you are so insecure that the only way you can get your relationship needs met is by controlling the person you love, by abusing them (let's be honest here), then realise what is happening and get in touch for therapy also. It does not have to continue this way, and abusers need to find healing also. To get in touch, click the big red button to go to the Contacts page : |
Counselling in Leicester with Gateway Counselling
Posted on December 6, 2014 at 6:34 AM |
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www.gateway-counselling-leicester.co.uk Tel. 0116 2120807 E-mail : [email protected] So what kind of issues to people seek help for:
Seeking Help Is Not A Sign Of Weakness It Is A Sign That, Very Often, We Have Tried To Be Too Strong For Too Long. If you or someone you know would benefit from counselling, then please do get in touch or encourage them to get in touch. The picture above is the back page of my brochure. If you would like a brochure or several brochures for yourself or your workplace, contact me. |
Alternatives to Self Harm
Posted on November 30, 2013 at 6:31 AM |
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What Is Depression
Posted on November 19, 2013 at 4:27 AM |
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A Personal Reflection "I get angry when I read drug manufacturer’s definitions of depression and see drab commercials that burst with color as soon as the meds are introduced. Feeling sad, overwhelmed, hopeless, sleeping a lot… as long as we hold onto the definitions that are fed to us as truth without exploring them we can never see anything more than that. If it were that simple, maybe popping pills would help. But it is their very definition that blinds us to the truth of discovering what depression is. We feel like they really know us, with their simple definitions. We read each symptom on the checklist and say “Yes! that is exactly how I feel!”. Upon further examination, you have to admit that this is only part of the picture. People are in so much pain, so desperate for immediate relief, needing someone to understand us in the worst way, that reading these simple sentences, seals the deal. We do not question if it is deeper than that, we believe that we can pop a pill and then all those symptoms will disappear. If it were that simple, why are more and more medications failing more and more people? According to the Abilify website, 2 out of 3 people taking an antidepressant still experienced unresolved symptoms of depression! I have taken the typical definitions of depression and injected a little bit of deeper truth. Depression is:
All of these symptoms are the things circling under the surface of the depression. It is all a vicious cycle, all of these symptoms feed each other and create more depression until the point where we lose all hope. Medication promises to treat these symptoms, but will never heal anything. What we need to do is dig below the surface, find the roots and work to dissolve them. As a result, all of the surface symptoms disappear. The more I think about how much medication I was on, and how strong all of the symptoms still were, the more I realize how amazing my mind truly is. It never stopped telling me, no matter how medicated, that something is really wrong under the surface. It didn’t give up, until I listened to it. Feeling suicidal is not really about wanting to die. It is about wanting to be free." Padhia Avocado. |
We Believe What We Tell Ourselves
Posted on October 12, 2013 at 12:56 PM |
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This, I think, is one of the most important points in counselling and therapy for people to grasp. What we tell ourselves has a huge impact on the way we think, how we feel and what we do about our lives. Even more so, the stories we tell ourselves and keep retelling ourselves have a huge impact ... those stories we also keep telling to other people to justify why we feel the way we do or why we do what we do. Imagine ... A person who constantly tells themselves they feel useless, convinces themselves they can't do something, reminds themselves of all the times they tried and something went wrong or others made fun of them, even tells others those stories as if in jest, but they're not really joking ... What's going to happen to that person? And what about the person who feels that life isn't worth living ... They remember all the struggles, the pain and hurts which are incredibly real and actually happened, they have a list in their heads of every bad thing that happened, and probably a list of who was to blame for it. They may even have convinced themselves that they are to blame somewhere buried inside. They have a 'yes, but' for every time someone tries to convince them life is worth living, a story they recount as if to prove their point. They retell all those stories, not just to others but to themselves over and over again (and by default ignore all the reasons people give them for why life is worth living, because those reasons don't fit what they want to believe). What is going to happen to that person. And finally (for now) ... What about the person who says ...
and so on. What will happen to the person who remembers the times they succeeded (even though there were times when they failed), reminds their friends of the better times as well as the worst, chooses to look at the beauty in the world (even though there is plenty that is not beautiful). It is not an easy path. It is easier (and often more popular) to look at the crap that happens to us (and let's face it, it happens to all of us and there is no shortage of examples) But maybe it's time to let go of those stories and find better ones. The choice, as always, is our own, yours and mine Regards, Garry x |
Life or Death
Posted on September 13, 2013 at 4:47 AM |
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- Online Therapy
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- What Clients Have Said ...
- Training Days
- About Transactional Analysis
- I'm OK You're OK
- Managing Stress and Depression
- Mindfulness
- Cutting Out Self Harm
- Are You Addicted?
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